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The Illegitimate son of Texas Oil Baron Harold Hamm and Irish Potato Farmer Barbara O'Donoghue, Benjamin Ross spent his formative years huddled next to garbage can fires under the Dan Ryan Expressway.

 

During The Great Frostbite of 2003, he began touring with the Midwestern branch of Cirque du Soleil, but was dishonorably discharged following a noisy dispute with management and purported claims of "being asked to juggle too many things at once."

 

In 2009, Benjamin enrolled at the Massachusettes Institute of Technology Graduate School for Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, where he earned a Master's Degree in Double Entendre and a reputation for being hard on his peers. Upon graduation Ross's movements become difficult to track.

 

Public record holds that within the last eight months Ross has filed 13 separate patents for superconductor switch mechanisms with the United States Patent and Trademark Office on behalf of Lockheed Martin Skunk Works Computerized Weapons Systems Division. Ross's technology is currently licensed by several high frequency securities trading firms operating in rat-infested Jersey (the New one).

 

Benjamin Ross has no known hobbies or interests and is generally considered awful dinner company.

 

 

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